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In 2015 I will be writing a Sentence a Day. You can read more about why here.
Today is the 1 April 2015.
Question:
Do you use social media? If so, which platforms are you currently using?
Answer:
All the usual suspects - Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, LinkedIn, Pinterest occasionally etc - although I'm weaning myself off Facebook after a break and then a re-join as it gets on my wick.
Mark Zuckerberg (Founder, Chairman and CEO of Facebook) has declared on Facebook (obvs) that 2015 will be the year of the book.
My challenge for 2015 is to read a new book every other week -- with an emphasis on learning about different cultures, beliefs, histories and technologies.
I'm excited for my reading challenge. I've found reading books very intellectually fulfilling. Books allow you to fully explore a topic and immerse yourself in a deeper way than most media today. I'm looking forward to shifting more of my media diet towards reading books.
Now, for the record, me and Mark aren't on good terms (in my head - I've never met the guy). In a previous post I pulled him up for allowing misogynistic content to be posted on Facebook without any kind of punitive action and I recently made a resolution to consider giving Facebook the elbow once and for all.
Yet, this challenge can only be a good thing, and I applaud Mark for the statement and for daring people to go back to basics. Also, particularly loving the term 'media diet' and will consider ways of dropping it casually into my own lexicon.
As Richard Godwin points out in tonight's Evening Standard, his own media diet over the festive period consisted of books (yes!), music (oh YES!), film (whoop!) and conversation (hurrah!) and most importantly an abstinence from Facebook and the like.
So in celebration of Mark's declaration and in recognition that I am an unabashed bookworm, I'm going to make a note of the books I've read in 2015 to document my own personal Year of the Book; something to ponder on in 2016 and perhaps build on. I'll update my list as I go along.
Hopefully you'll find some good recommendations or maybe, like me, be inspired to read more (rather than take a selfie, tweet or Google celebs in bikinis in January. Unavoidable, but sickening as you accept they probably didn't eat a Terry's Chocolate Orange a day in December).
I'll leave you with Richard's Godwin's very wise tips on how to avoid the temptation of succumbing to bad habits.
Carry a book in your bag. Don't charge your phone by your bedside. Subscribe to a print magazine. Most of all, delete the Facebook app. You'll have so much more energy.
I'll raise a book to that.
So, today my FB holiday is over and I'm back on familiar soil. I've had a good time to think things over and need to have a serious chat with the big bad boy in blue.
On reflection, it's been a funny old month.
Days 1 - 4
I pressed 'Post' on 'FACEBOOK, I AM BREAKING UP WITH YOU. (FOR A BIT)', updated my status, logged off and flopped back in my chair with a deep exhalation of breath. It felt like I had been in a riotous house party with chatty people filling every room and excessively loud music - and then telling everyone to GET OUT NOW and slamming the door shut and leaning against it. Silence.
One hour in, I was itchy and attempted to persuade my husband, Alex, to let me peek at my FB page on his iPhone. 'No' said Alex. 'Please?' I said casually. 'No' said Alex firmly. 'It's only one look and it's you looking, not me!' I said in a slightly high-pitched voice. 'No' he said and calmly left the room.
To satisfy my compulsion, I tweeted a photo of my Crystal Palace FC mug to celebrate Palace's brilliant win over Everton. It felt half-arsed.
Waking up on Day 1 was weird. I looked out of the window instead of my iPad. I would love to fib and say I read my book on the commute to work, but I didn't. I just stared vacantly out of the window with severe brain freeze and suspected FB detox headache.
I considered the FB-free Easter weekend ahead, jam-packed with fun plans and wondered how difficult it would be not to broadcast these plans exclusively-as-they-happened. I then asked myself truthfully whether to 'share' was in fact to 'show off a bit'. Myself said this was a bit true.
While Alex was in the shower on Day 4, I grabbed his iPhone and momentarily looked at my FB page via his account, just to see if anyone had commented on my final post, keeping one eye on the door. I felt dirty. I would like to apologise to Alex for being a sneaky pants as he learns of this moment of weakness for the first time.
Days 5 - 12
Driving my car with Kisstory blaring from the radio on Day 5, and overwhelmed by the sheer nostalgia of hearing Usher, Eve and Nelly feat. Nynsc (Girlfriend - tune!) and feeling 23 again, I felt an urge to share my love of old skool R'n'B with the FB world. Then I remembered that I had no data left, and also that I was driving and therefore this would be illegal. Thus, rescued from temptation by an inadequate mobile phone tariff.
On Day 9, I had a great Saturday sesh at the gym and was pleased that I couldn't post a status about working out - dull, boring and let's face it, a teeny bit smug. Instead, on the train home I peered under my sunglasses at the Newsfeed on the girl's phone next to me. It satisfied my craving, despite not having the foggiest idea who she, or any of her mates, were. (Great news about John's new job though!).
Epic social events took place that previously would have been giddily shared on FB. Like a great big boozy lunch in Putney with the gang on Day 11, the perfect opportunity to Check In, take bucket loads of photos, tag like mad. Instead I sat back, enjoyed five brilliant FB-free hours and got pickled without telling everyone about it and incessantly checking for likes and seeing affirmation. Even when my friend left with a Mini Mushroom Wireless Bluetooth speaker stuck to his head and played music to our fellow pub goers as we exited. Instead I tweeted thanks to the pub and got a lovely reply back.
Day 12, disaster. I am notified that my tweets are automatically set up to show on FB and have filled up my page - gah! Despite my best efforts I worry people would assume I had fallen off the wagon. I hadn't, honestly, I was still stone cold FB-sober.
Days 13 - 18
By Day 13 I had become fully acquainted with my Material Whirl FB page and was giving it all my loving; it felt great to avoid distraction and spend time focusing on the thing I really love. My FACEBOOK, I AM BREAKING UP WITH YOU. (FOR A BIT) post was seen by 1,548 people. Crikey.
An incident on Day 15 reminded me that FB provides an excellent platform to express disgust for the general public. A grown man next to me on the train openly picked his nose, both nostrils, while casually reading the Evening Standard, and as I disembarked he, ahem, passed wind. Loudly. Rendering me momentarily speechless, instead of grabbing my iPhone and moaning about what I'd seen / heard I had no choice but to keep that beauty to myself.
During this period, Hotmail acted as FB's nasty accomplice. It sneakily told me I was tagged in photos and mentioned in statuses and stuff. FB was pulling out all the stops to woo me back.
It nearly worked. On Day 18 I couldn't resist its charms, and peeked over Alex's shoulder to see what the Newsfeed was telling me. It told me selfies, mostly, and a Suggested Post featuring a picture of a dog laying next to a soldier in Afghanistan and rallying to 'get 90k likes!'. 'Oh, sod off' I thought and immediately switched off with no desire to poke around any further. Progress.
Days 18 - 23
On Day 18 I went out with a good friend in Shoreditch and went in 'cold' instead of looking at her FB page in advance and getting up to speed on her life. It was really refreshing to drink sparkly pink rosé while listening intently and getting all the goss there and then. It was a lovely night and I didn't even look at my iPhone when in the loo.
I wondered what Alex was up to on FB on Day 20. Often we're like ships in the night and I realised I missed his laugh-out-loud statuses and liberal swearing aimed at Sam Allardyce, David Cameron and Sky Sports.
However, I was definitely feeling lighter in the head, less irritable and more focused. I was determinedly reading 'Get Things Done' and highlighting important sections like a proper diligent student (geek) instead of having one eye on the book and the other on FB.
By Day 23, I was sleeping a bit better and not feeling FB-lagged. Twitter continued to be hilarious with things like #RuinAMovieQuote.
I hadn't thought about FB in a good few days. Not once.
Days 24 - 30
You know when you read about detoxes in magazines? It's all I FELT AWFUL AT FIRST, WITH A TERRIBLE HEADACHE AND EXHAUSTED AND THEN A FEW DAYS IN I FELT GREAT AND MY SKIN SHONE AND I'VE GIVEN UP EVERYTHING AND WILL LIVE ON CARROT JUICE FOREVER etc. Usually such annoying pretension makes me want to throw up but I can honestly say in the final stages of my FB detox I definitely felt a shift.
By Day 26, I was focused, alert, and kind of ready to take on the world. I experienced some setbacks in my personal life during this period, but it felt appropriate not to share them publicly and keep it only with family and close friends without baring my soul to the world.
It struck me on Day 28 that me and Material Whirl had become best buds with Twitter this past month. Highlights include ASOS retweeting this fashion post and a personal mention, connecting with Walthamstow's Little Free Libraries scheme and the Crystal Palace FC female mascot retweeting a fashion photo.
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On my last day, Day 30, I realised I didn't miss FB AT ALL. Not one little bit. I reflected on what I had achieved since we temporarily had a break. It's not groundbreaking, but it's a start:
Summary
I'm not fully converted to a FB-free existence and I don't think Zuckerberg has spawned the devil (although the rubbish adverts and sexist stuff is still utter shit). Its concept was great (and innocent enough) but it's been adapted for our own wicked needs and thus we are partly to blame for the pernicious effect.
FB has some good points - connecting families, highlighting inspirational, amazing people like Stephen Sutton and sharing happy things but overall, I feel less burdened and my head is aired out. I am more focused and driven to achieve my goals rather than be derailed or distracted by others - or disheartened when the old green-eyed monster kicked in.
My little experiment hasn't changed my life but it has been insightful. Although it would be unnecessary to delete my account, I am no longer reliant or, to be honest, that interested in it.
So, Facebook. Now that we're talking again… can we just be friends?
I've been on Facebook since 2007, joining originally to stay in touch with my sister in Sydney. Her response:
Hey Nic, glad you've joined Facebook! I normally hate this kind of shite but honestly this is great for finding people you haven't spoken to for a while. Love you loads, chat soon M xxx
Thus, a new affair had begun. 2007! That's seven whole years and, incidentally, the longest relationship I have ever been in to date. From day one of our kinship, I threw myself right in, got involved and gave it my all. I shared, I posted witty (read: annoying) statuses, I drunk-posted, I SHOUTED USING CAPITAL LETTERS, I over-shared, I collected in excess of 480 friends and reconnected with people I first met when I was just five years old. FB and I hooked up in the morning, over lunch, in the early hours after a night out with the girls and I told it (everyone) everything.
I thought it was the best thing ever, a game changer, and wow we've had some good times together. Facebook has helped me document my life in photos and declarations; capturing those heady party days in my twenties, sunny holidays, boozy weekends away and monumental gigs. It diarised my time living in Australia, tracked how I met my husband and records life-changing events such as - the happiest day of my life so far - my wedding. It helps me share this here blog and increase its reach and exposure. It cultivates my networks and allows me to stay in touch with friends and family, capturing these heady party days of my thirties (Tut. FB, stop judging. You're eleven years old and no spring chicken yourself, thank you very much!).
Looking back on old posts, especially from your formative FB years, is a hoot. You could easily waste half a day getting tangled up in the past. (I should imagine, I've not actually tried it. Ahem). You barely recognise your younger self; gadding about and never going to bed and adding something witty after 'Nicola is…', back in the day when we were restricted by third-person singular present tenses and the like.
Ah, the reckless posting without abandon. 'Nicola has just spotted 'News in Briefs' in The Sun being read by the man next to her and is astounded. I don't care what you think about Iran, YOU HAVE NO TOP ON.' and '...is experiencing the sort of hangover where even your teeth ache' and 'winter = disaster. After hitting head on a taxi door last night I now have mild concussion. No work and minimal reading/pc-screening. Ah'. It all feels so new and heady and exciting and where on earth did you get the energy to do that and the time to post, and add captions to things and categorise photo albums and what in the name of God are you wearing?! (Shut up grumpy 30-year old).
Things recently though have got a little tepid. Some of the shine has come off. It's not been seismic, more a gradual separation over the past few months and I think we're drifting apart. A quick iPhone check, the odd half-hearted status, that's all we've got left. I still love you, I'm just not in love with you. It's not you, it's me and I'm hoping we can work things out.
WAIT. No, actually it IS you! It's you. You used to be fun. Once it was all about sharing and poking and joining silly groups and nosing around at what your exes were up/not up to (haha, wanky profile photo!), saying nice things to each other and painstakingly arranging Events with a photo and everything. It was positive and collaborative and jolly.
Now it's all showy, and shouty and LOOK AT ME and egotistic. It's crammed full of superfluous adverts and saturated with selfies that once were groupies. It's got too big for its corporate boots. We're not connecting or sharing with people in our life, we've becoming virtual recluses and getting on each other's wick.
So, I'm taking a break from you and I think it's best for the both of us. I'm self-enrolling on a one month FB detox plan to purge you from my system. I've checked the small print and this plan comes with some unwanted side effects (niggling curiosity, withdrawal-shakiness, feelings of exclusion) but hopefully it'll be worth it.
Here's why:
1. It gives me the right hump
In fear of sounding like a jealous, resentful old moo, FB sometimes makes me feel a bit crap. Since teenage I've experienced what my Mum used to call 'Missing Out Syndrome' which has been rebranded for the Aughts as FOMO [Fear of Missing Out]. In an age where celebrities are visualising absolutely everything us mere mortals will never have, suddenly we're all at it. Sharing sunny holidays in exotic climes, flaunting bronzed tans, toting new huge designer bags, pointed freshly pedicured feet in soft sand, or simply taking Mondays off work with a big HA in your face!
Guilty as charged. I've done it too and once the momentary satisfaction eases, I often feel anxious and sick and worry that people will think I'm being a billy big bananas and so I consider hitting delete. Then forget (see point 2).
Who hasn't been there; work's draining the life out of you, modern life is rubbish and you're in on a Friday through sheer exhaustion and poorness. A quick swipe down the Newsfeed and it's all shiny new relationships, exciting jobs in far-flung places and Insta-filtered beach shots, selfies in full-face slap and falling out of the latest bar in Peckham. You sob into your pillow and think I'm utterly shit, and why oh why aren't I volunteering in Malawi right this minute, or sky diving or wearing limited edition Nike Air Max that cost a million squillion quid? Why?! Sob.
FOMO and the negative impact of the toxic digital world we live in is reportedly leading to depression, anxiety, lack of self-esteem and very tragically, even suicide. The thing is, very rarely will we say bad stuff on FB. It's embellished and magnified, not real life - most of us are actually lucky beyond belief if only we'd stop and look around us for a bit.
So, I'm stepping away in an attempt to try to feel better about myself and not compare. The happiest people don't have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything. I'm going to talk to friends and find out what they're up to face to face and listen and smile. Because real friends are candid and funny and say what they really mean, and you get to hear the real stuff (like 'my new job is pretty cool so far, but the people are trendy-scary and yesterday I was too afraid to ask where the loo was so held it in all day') as well as the amazing.
By checking out I'm also abstaining from Checking In. I'm choosing to savour the moment in real-time, rather than grabbing my phone and telling the Facebook world where I am and what I am eating and wearing and feeling the moment my husband / friend go to the loo, then putting it away furtively when they return.
2. It drains my brain
Hello, my name is Nicola and I'm a social media addict. I wake up and spring out of bed to check my email / Facebook / Instagram / Twitter and Whatsapp. All before 6.30am. All before I've tackled the commute. All before I've had a hard day at work.
Yesterday I couldn't even remember the name of - oh God what was it? Important facts and details disappear, gone. Names on the tip of my tongue escape me. My brain races. I wonder why I find it hard to concentrate on one single thing at time, why I have such a terrible short-term memory.
I've realised that hitting the big blue F icon on my iPhone and sucking up all the random incessant news hurts my head. A lot. It makes me irritable and unnecessarily exhausted and irrationally feeling like I have lots to do. A red number on the Notifications globe used to make me smile, now it makes me panic. When will I have time to reply? Will they think I'm rude? Is a one-word answer arrogant? I only left one kiss, they left two! Facebook anxiety at its worst. (Fanxiety?).
Yesterday's ES reports gloomily that symptoms of tablet addiction include a loss of interest in other activities, lack of control, deception, furtiveness and irritability. Weight gain and RSI are also on the list. Yikes! So I hope that withdrawing from FB will lighten the load, air out my brain a bit. Like opening a window and letting all the dust out and fresh air in.
I intend to measure the impact of my detox to see what I can achieve instead. Like reading a pile of books I'm eager to get through (incidentally one is called Get Things Done). Looking outside at the sky, the grass, the stars and the sea. Freeing up my head space and tapping into my creative side to allow writing and writing and more writing. I've neglected those things quite badly so hopefully I'm back on the path to non-digital enlightenment.
My head will be grateful for it I'm sure, and my health.
3. Advertising overload
There I am happily looking at that-girl-who-never-talked-to-me-at-school's photos of her Auntie's dog when BAM, in my face is a random advert for William K Gray sunglasses, purveyors of the worst cheap Ray-Bans ever. It's a Suggested Post or a Suggested App or something, recommending that I might like it or may want to click on the link and part with my hard-earned money. Err, no I won't and I don't. I don't like it at all. Stop trampling all over my page, you are trespassing. Get off my land!
Another one of my pet hates is unintentionally ridiculous corporate Facebook pages. LIke Wickes (the trusted name in home improvement and the building trade). 109 people are talking about Wickes and I am curious to know what on earth they are discussing. Blinds? Tiles? The advantages of paint brushes versus paint rollers?
Tonight I learned that 2, 933, 597 people have joined the Colgate Facebook Community. Erm, I'm sorry, did you say Colgate Facebook Community? IT'S TOOTHPASTE. IT CLEANS YOUR TEETH.
I know all too well that businesses need a boost but really, the world's gone mad. This wasn't what I signed up for.
4. Women get a raw deal
Back in 2013 the Guardian reported on Facebook's big misogyny problem. It's 2014 and in my (dry and tired) eyes that problem still exists.
LIke the repulsive Women Who Eat On Tubes, which thankfully is now a private group only. Yuck. Its creator Tony Burke, hit with a widespread backlash, has bottled it and says 'his decision to focus on women was based on his own personal observation that more women eat on the tube than men and that it was not intended to be sexist'. Twit. I still found it a revolting intrusion of privacy and a sneering, sarcastic pop at women who were probably working 5-9 and eating at the only opportunity they had between meetings, sleep-deprived busy mums or someone who felt a bit peckish and unwittingly became the victim of harassment via that load of old nonsense. High art it is not, you utter morons.
Then there's the more sinister stuff that I'd rather not go into too much detail about on this post, like the representation of rape and domestic violence which is too awful for words. I still don't understand why Facebook continues to allow this kind of content to be published. Not cool, Mark, not cool. I do not intend to be on the same platform as these vile beings (not human) and they can stick freedom of expression where the sun doesn't shine.
Sheryl Sandberg may be Leaning In but I'm clearing off until it's sorted out.
Facebook, I've thought about this carefully and it hasn't been an easy decision to make. I'll miss you and all the nice stuff. Admittedly, you've helped me launch my blog and for that I am very grateful. That is why, despite my main page being inactive for one month from today, Material Whirl's Facebook page will be hanging around - solely for the purpose of sharing my blog posts as most of my friends are yet to embrace the Twittersphere. Think of it as my naughty, toxic side if you like, drinking wine and falling out of bars at the witching hour while I sip wheatgrass and perfect my downward facing dog.
For now, I have new digital buddies to hang out every now and then with to help me boost my blog pages, albeit on a minimal and controlled basis - Instagram and Twitter Much more importantly, though I shall associate myself with fresh air and books and real people and writing. In abundance.
So, my one month trial starts from here. My account will be suspended, my status will read 'From 16 April 2014, I am Facebook Detoxing for 1 Month. See you on the other side (or on Twitter).
I'll let you know how I get on. Wish me luck.
Oh, hello life...
Thank you to each and everyone of my Material Whirl followers. The likers, the admiring head-nodders, the laugh-out-louders, the sharers, the forwarders, and the retweeters.
You make... late nights after long (real job) days surviving only by the power of Diet Coke, standing on the tube with my face way too close to a stranger and typing on an iPhone, the solitary coffees in cafes with just me and my Mac, and the begging, emailing, researching...absolutely 100% worth it.
With your help and support 2013 has seen Material Whirl take a small but noticeable step (in uncomfortable, but new shoes). I am lucky to have reviewed some fantastic acts for Jazz FM, have guest reviewed for some smashing London hangouts with their support (and retweets) and some inspiring fashion people have even been in touch with me. Right this minute, I have 139 Facebook likes, 100 Instagram followers and 411 Twitter followers with numbers rising - not bad but definitely need more.
2013 was kind to Material Whirl. Did you know a New York City subway train holds 1,200 people? Well, this blog was viewed about 8,000 times in 2013. If it were a NYC subway train, it would take about 7 trips to carry that many people. That makes me smile and keeps me motivated to do more in 2014. - have a quick read of my report below (with fancy images, thanks Wordpress)
Here's a little report of Material Whirl's progress in 2013.
It is a great start and I am absolutely over the moon; but 2014 needs to be bigger and even better (with more NYC subway train trips. Or, even better, Tube trips if I knew the stats on that). Hopefully this is just the beginning.
Thank you so much to each and everyone of you who made it happen.
Happy New Year. I hope 2014 brings you everything you want and deserve... I have a feeling it is going to be spectacular.
xxx
